Did we realise the sheer ferocity of the greatest crisis that ever visited our country, the scale of devastation that it was wreaking right in front of our eyes? The counted and the uncountable just surrendered in the face of negligible medical support and supplies. Gasping for breath, they breathed their last.
Did we grasp what havoc was wrecking in our hospitals, in our homes and the greying skies? That darkness enveloped us with force yet unknown and left people mainly on their own or to the benevolence of a random kind soul. Will we realise this now, or hindsight will have to finally arrive and teach us the lessons we ought to have learned the first time? They say in the end; we will survive. Maybe we will, but pray, would ‘we’ remain the same?
Someone told me that years later, when we will write about this, we will have to fictionalise it because no one will believe that all this happened. That doomsday was at our doorstep. The stars we worship will put out Insta Reels from the Maldives, that a popular cricket league and its coverage in the mainstream media will continue unabated till finally, they suffer. That to be elected to lead the people would mean more than their very lives. That people would scurry from pillar to post for drugs and oxygen. At the same time, our leaders chose to bother first and foremost about the protocol. Meanwhile, our family members and friends were burnt or buried without even a modicum of respect or tradition. Will the future generations ever believe that all this was allowed to happen?
They ask me to think about the positive side of it all. Not to let the negativity undermine the good things done for the people. They tell me that things aren’t that bad, and it is being blown out of proportion to suit specific vested interests. They harp about the already broken system and that the crisis has just exposed it.
Of course, many good things are happening to save lives. Thousands of front line workers are risking their lives every day trying to fight their way out of this terrible situation. Many have even lost their lives, and many have suffered temporary bouts and bounced back into the ring. Many ordinary citizens are helping to assist the needy through any means possible.
But no, sir, I refuse to think about the positive side. I refuse to let the good done by the few let me believe that had done enough to prepare us for this tragedy. I will not let them convince me that I am not even allowed to feel sorrow for my friends, family, city, and country. No, I will not accept this atrocity. I want to remember the hurt I am feeling, and I want to remember what caused it. I want to remember my anguish because that was the only thing that gave me the strength to survive. I want to remember everything that happened so that I can at least feel grief for my loss.
